Čevlji, torbice in ženska ljubezen do njih/On women, shoes, handbags and our mutual love for each other

Zadnjič sem gledala komedijo, v kateri je glavni igralec v službi predstavljal svojo idejo za oblikovanje platnic ženskega romana. Začel je takole: »Nedavna raziskava, v kateri so uporabili tehniko MRI za slikanje ženskih možganov, je pokazala, da se ženski možgani prižgejo kot ognjemet, ko jim pokažejo sliko ...« »Čevljev!« sem takoj izstrelila, s čimer sem si prislužila začuden možev pogled, ki bi najbrž na isto vprašanje dal vse sorte drugih odgovorov. »... čevljev«, je zaključil junak v filmu. Ena nič zame. Pa saj ni bila težka 'uganka'. 

(foto: barneys.com)

Kaj pa je na čevljih takega, da ženskam že pogled na hud par prekrasnih salonarjev hitreje požene kri po žilah? Ni treba biti fetišistka, da imaš rada čevlje. Tudi ni treba biti Imelda Marcos, ki jih je baje imela doma več kot tri tisoč parov, da se kvalificiraš za ljubiteljico čevljev, čeprav je presenetljivo, koliko parov čevljev imajo doma povsem povprečne ženske s povsem povprečnimi plačami. Tudi torbice so v podobni kategoriji kot čevlji, s tem, da se po mojih opažanjih ženske v vprašanju: »Čevlji ali torbice?« delijo podobno kot ljudje v znanem zgodovinskem vprašanju: »Beatli ali Rollingi?«. Dejstvo je, da imaš raje eno ali drugo, tiste pa, ki imajo enako (beri: zelo) rade tako torbice kot čevlje, so pač toliko na boljšem – ali na slabšem, če gledamo s stališča njihove denarnice.

Naj vam povem svojo teorijo, zakaj so čevlji in torbice tako ljubljen del ženskega sveta in zakaj jih ima(j)(m)o raje od drugih kosov ženske garderobe. Ste že kdaj morale čevlje zapeti leže na tleh in medtem na vso moč vleči trebuh notri? Ali vam je že kdaj kakšna torbica naredila večjo zadnjico oziroma vas kako drugače spomnila na to, da se spet ne držite tega, da po osmi zvečer ne jeste ogljikovih hidratov? Ne? Se mi je kar zdelo. Gre za kose, ki so hkrati modni in estetsko dovršeni, odražajo našega duha, okus za modo in življenjsko filozofijo, a pri tem so božajoče prijazni tudi do naše nepopolnosti. Dobra torbica pač enako dobro pristaja tako suhljati dami kot obilneje obloženi. In čevlji? Ti nas potolažijo že, če jih imamo v omari in jih samo gledamo. Zelo daleč torej od osovraženih kategorij ženskega šopinga, kot so kavbojke, modrci ali pudri. Nič čudnega, da jih imamo tako rade. Nič ne zakliče »Nova sezona!« tako glasno in obetajoče kot nov par čevljev, ki s sabo nosi številne obljube: da bomo v njih hodile lepše in bolj vzravnano, da se bomo pogosteje spravile iz prastarih kavbojk in raztegnjene majice, pa tudi, da bomo v življenju imele več priložnosti, ko bodo novi nobel čevlji doživeli svoj sprehod. Podobno je pri novi torbi: predalčke ima lepše razporejene in več razdelkov, zato obljublja, da bomo ključe hitreje našle. Ker pa je bila draga in je res noro lepa, preprosto ne bomo dovolile, da bi v njej spet pozabile en teden staro banano (ostanek vrtčevske malice) in bomo takoj ven stresle vse drobtine ...
Skratka – za večino žensk so občutki ob novih čevljih ali torbi preprosto božanski, zato ni čudno, da se nam možgani ob pogledu nanje razživijo kot rakete na novoletnem ognjemetu. Smo pač preprosta bitja me ženske, kajne?

(foto: thecoveteur.com)

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Not long ago I was watching a comedy in which there was a scene where the main character presented his idea for an illustration of a new book cover. He began his presentation with these words: »A recent study using MRI technique for studying women's brain showed that women's brain lit up like firework when shown a picture of ...« »Shoes!!« I screamed out right away, which provoked a wondering glance from my husband who would probably answer this question quite differently. »... Shoes«, the man in the movie finished his sentence. Yay for me, but hey, this wasn't a difficult question.

So what is it about shoes that women's hartbeats begin to flutter like a butterfly when we see a gorgeous pair of shoes? You don't have to be a fetishist to love shoes. You also don't have to be exactly Imelda Marcos (who presumably owned more than 3.000 pairs of shoes) to be qualified as a shoe lover, although the number of shoe pairs, owned by perfectly average women with perfectly average paychecks, is often surprising. I see handbags in the same category as shoes, where women seem to be divided into two separate groups based on whether they prefer shoes to handbags or vice versa. This, I observe, is somewhat a similar phenomenon to the eternal question: »The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?«. Usually one prefers one or the other, although there are women who simply love both – shoes AND bags – and so they are in somewhat better position, or worse, if you look at their bank accounts.

Let me tell you my theory on why women love shoes and bags so much and why they prefer them to other items of wardrobe. Did you once in your lifetime had to actually lay down and suck in your tummy in order to buckle your shoes? Did any handbag make your butt look bigger or in any other way point out the fact that again, you're not following your 'no-carbs-after-8-pm' diet? Never happened? I thought so. Shoes and handbags are fashionable, aesthetically perfect, they show our life philosophy, our spirit and fashion sense, but at the same time, they are oh-so-kind to our (psysical) imperfections. A nice handbag looks equally good on a thin or more voluptuous woman. Shoes? A good pair puts us in a good mood even if we only glance at it in the shoe closet. That's miles away from the hated categories of shopping such as jeans, bras or foundations. Nothing screams out »New season!« as loud as a new pair of fabulous shoes. It also promises that we will walk nicer, stand taller and more straight, that we will more often find the energy to climb out of our ancient pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and also that there will be more fancy occasions in our life, more chances to put that elegant pair of stilettos on and walk out to a party. Similar with a new glossy handbag. Because of its many compartments, we believe to find our keys faster; and because of its high price and beauty, we will simply not let another one week old, rotten banana hide in it, let alone the cookie crumbles that often sneak in where they aren't supposed to ...

To sum it up, shoes and handbags are simply divine so no wonder that our brain lit up like firework when we see them. You can't say that women are not simple creatures, right?

(Translated by: Tina Martinec Selan)